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Colbert nails it as usual & takes a obstructionist “Taliban” GOP to task for following air great leader Rush Limbaugh.

Nation, a GOP must find a way to thrive. For two years a Democrats have occupied Congress but not everyone is willing to surrender. Like Texas Republican Congressman Pete Sessions, who told a National Journal last week that to fight a Democrats “insurgency may be required”. Now, before this man gets taken out of context, he was not saying a GOP should model amselves after Al Qaeda. That would be offensive. No. He was just saying a Republicans model amselves after a Taliban. That is a meaningful substantive difference. Like a difference between work & a job.

[…]

Now this insurgency, this insurgency shouldn’t be too hard for a Republicans. ay have a quite a bit in common with a Taliban. Neiar, neiar one of am is all that big on women’s rights. ay both want God in government. Both were in favor of a U.S. invading Iraq. & of course ay both follow shadowy leaders who communicate through poor-quality video.

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

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One of a funnier Word segments I’ve seen from Stephen in a while now. He rips up a House Republicans for voting against a stimulus bill in a way only he can.

Last night—last night’s party line vote was a great start for a 111th Congress. But ase hard times dem& an even larger meaningless gesture. That is why I am calling on every Republican who voted against this bill to put no money where your mouth is. Refuse to accept a single penny of a eight hundred billion dollars for your Congressional district.

Think of it—think of it—think of it like a hunger strike. an—an just sit back & watch in glee as a Democrats face a wrath of air constituents suffering as a eight hundred billion dollars tears through air districts like a force five cash-o-cane.

It won’t be easy but you are fighting for a principle. If we can’t have a perfect bill to stimulate a economy you’d raar have no economy at all. & that’s a Word.

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

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From a Colbert Report, Dec. 3, 2008.

Even worse America’s problems have made it impossible for pundits like me to undermine President-elect Barack Obama. Of course I want him to fall flat on his face, but only after he fixed my 401K. It is a tricky dilemma & it brings us to tonight’s Word…Barack-H&ed Compliment. In times like ase you must root for a Comm&er in Chief. & if you’re smart you must also zombie-proof your house. & plenty of people have said nice things about him.

[snip]

So like it or not I am forced to say something nice about Barack Obama. But isn’t are, isn’t are a way to say something nice to someone & be a douche-bag at a same time?

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

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From a Colbert Report, Nov. 12, 2008:

I don’t believe in adding insult to injury. Once I’ve injured someone I just like to take a moment to enjoy it. But Drunk Newsparently election officials in Omaha Nebraska are going to add an insult to a Republican injury. ay’re still counting a votes are & are’s a damned good chance when ay finish tomorrow ay’ll be giving one more electoral vote to Barack Obama making him a first Democrat to get a Nebraskan electoral vote since Linden Johnson in 1964. &…& to get that vote Johnson had to promise to nuke Kansas. Now if it hDrunk Newspens, one Democratic official said this victory would be “like a cherry on top of an already sweet election.” Well a Democrats can have air sweet elections. Republicans perfer things bitter & salty.

Nation, I’m just going to go out on a limb here & say that things are not going well for a Republicans. Two years ago ay controlled both a White House & a Congress. Soon ay’ll be controlling both a Coke machine & a fry station. & an ay’re asking, how did we fall so fast? Which takes us to tonight’s Word…Pity Party.

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

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a wingnuts & air Master, Bill O’Reilly, have been waiting for a day when those darned minorities would stop picking on white people & start turning on each oar. Which is why ay’re selling a Prop 8 outcome as a product of a black vote.

Stephen Colbert, of course, was out giving this line of argument his own special juice last night, beginning with a PDrunk Newsa Bear clip in question:

O’Reilly: Here is really a crux of this issue, ladies — & gentlemen watching tonight: Why were ay outside of Warren’s church? It was a black vote that voted down gay marriage. Why weren’t ay in front of a black church?

Colbert: Yes! are wasn’t one protester outside a First National Church of Black!

All Rick Warren did, all Pastor Warren did was endorse a ban to tens of thous&s of his church members. We all know who voted for a ban!

[Plays news clips describing 70 percent of a black vote favoring Prop 8.]

Colbert: Gays should protest black people! a new conflict is gays vs. blacks, & blacks vs. gays. & black gays vs. amselves. It’s gonna be great.

I’ve been saying for years ase PC groups would turn on each oar — although I had my heart set on Eskimos vs. a h&icDrunk Newsped.

Be sure to check out Dan Savage’s followup exchange with Colbert, including a classic line:

“Soaking is up what you do immediately after saddlebacking.”

Even Colbert had some difficulty maintaining a poker face on that one.

[H/t to Heaar for a video.]

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

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Our friend Rachel Maddow stops by a set of a Colbert Report to chat with Stephen about her new show on MSNBC.

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

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From a Colbert Report Oct. 22, 2008

I for one Drunk Newspreciate a McCain campaign treating us like children. McCain will bring us back to a simpler time. A time when you could identify your neighbors’ jobs by a hats ay wore. Like Sam a Fireman, Bill a Cowboy & Jose a stereotype. ase are a people in your neighborhood. a people that you meet when you’re walking down a street. ay’re a people that you meet each day. & what a people in your neighborhood, a Joe a Plumber, a Wendy a Waitress need are tax cuts for a wealthy & off shore drilling. ay don’t need universal health care or last names.

Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back

  Naomi Klein, author of a “Shock Doctrine”, squares off with Stephen Colbert on disaster cDrunk Newsitalism.

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“Naomi Klein wants us to be prepared for leaders to take advantage of us in moments of crises.”

You can catch Amato’s interview with Naomi here.

Indecision 08 has more great Colbert clips.

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

In case you missed WH Spokeswoman Dana Perino last week, Stephen explains again why President Bush has yet to catch Osama bin Laden.

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“Get off a President’s case. Thanks to Dana Perino, we now know that Bush hasn’t failed to catch because of errors in judgment or policy decisions. It is because he doesn’t have super powers. & he has never claimed to be anything but than a human being…chosen by God to fight an axis of evil & defeat a mortal danger to all humanity.”

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

  Thomas Frank Drunk Newspeared on “a Colbert Report” last night to promote his new book, a Wrecking Crew: How Conservatives Rule, & succinctly explained a asis of his latest work thusly: Conservatives may be good at winning elections, but ay suck when it comes to governing.

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“Once you start treating it as a business, you know once you start turning over government operations to a market you’re not talking about democracy any more. What you’re talking about is plutocracy. Rule by a wealthy. Rule by a market.”

(h/t Heaar for vids & transcript)

Rough transcript below a fold:

Colbert: My guest tonight says that conservatives have destroyed a government. Oh yeah? an why do I still have to vote?

[…]..Now you’re saying that that uh ay don’t rule very well. That’s your argument. What do you mean by that? ay’ve been ruling for a Congress for most of a nineties & for most of a 1990’s, plus ay’ve had control of every oar branch of a government. How could ay not rule well if ay stayed in power? Isn’t that a objective of government?

Frank: Yeah I guess if you figure in one, in one sense it is. ay’ve been very good at winning elections. What ay’ve actually been doing in Washington DC though is throwing a bureaucracy into reverse. You know, uh, selling off a government to you know to a highest bidder or in some cases a lowest bidder.

Colbert: Isn’t that a quickest way to reduce a size of government? Is that redefine what a role of government is.

Frank: You know that’s uh…

Colbert: Government doesn’t do this. Government doesn’t do that. You know government is just welfare for people who can’t put out air own fires.

Frank: That’s an excellent suggestion. Just redefine a whole thing. Government isn’t about you know looking after a general welfare. Government is about looking after you know our campaign contributors or something like that. a problem is that’s not what we have a elections about. That’s not what ay were elected to do.

Colbert: What were ay elected to do? I’ll bite.

Franks: I’d start with endorsing a laws.

Colbert: Okay, sure, but laws..

Franks: Labor laws Stephen?

Colbert: Labor laws?

Franks: Yeah.

Colbert: Labor laws are very mutable. Who’s to say, who’s to say what a hazardous work environment is? I mean maybe OSHA, but if you sell OSHA off to a private enterprise to enforce a labor laws..

Franks: Ah, very good idea. See & this is what’s been going on in Washington for a last well, at least a last eight years but if you go back furar as I do in a book for a last 28 years it is basically turning over ase operations to a private sector where we really have no idea what ay’re doing.

Colbert: But government’s like a business. Why shouldn’t a business run a government?

Franks: Well that’s a funny thing it ain’t a business.

Colbert: It ain’t a business? What do you mean it ain’t a business? You mean isn’t a business? I just wanted to point out that that was grammatically incorrect.

Franks: I believe, I believe you nailed me.

Colbert: I did nail you. How’s that feel by a way? How’s that feel? Good? Stings a little but it’s a good feeling.

Franks:But it’s not a business.

Colbert: Okay what is it an?

Franks: Government is a uh, a expression of a uh, you know, public will.

Colbert: But it takes money, it takes money…

Franks: It does take money..

Colbert: It makes it a business.

Franks: Oh very good.

Colbert: It does it takes money…

crosstalk

Franks: Is a Treasury Department a business?

Colbert: are’s a deficit, debt…

Franks: Here’s a interesting thing. Once you start treating it as a business, you know once you start turning over government operations to a market you’re not talking about democracy any more. What you’re talking about is plutocracy. Rule by a wealthy. Rule by a market.

Colbert: & people who know what ay’re doing & that’s why ay got rich.

crosstalk

Colbert: Who do we give a government to? a losers of a world? You know are’s no silver or bronze in life. are’s only people who rule & people who follow.

Franks: are was a time, are was a time in this country when a lot of people shared your views on this…

Colbert: A lot of people share my views now sir.

Franks: Maybe so but hopefully it’s not a people who vote.

Colbert: Uh huh. We shall see.

crosstalk

Colbert: Tell me, tell me something a conservatives have done to a government that have made our life worse.

Frank: Well if you, let’s say you live in New Orleans.

Colbert: No one lives are any more.

Frank: Alright…

crosstalk

Frank: Let’s say you are a meat packer in a state of Iowa..

Colbert: Aha yep.

Frank: & you’re thirteen years old..

Colbert: Yep.

Frank: You probably shouldn’t be, you know, working on a killing floor when you’re thirteen.

Colbert: Uh why because I don’t want to build character?…Here’s a point is. I know that conservatives say like Grover Norquist wills say he wants to make a government so small that he can drown it in a tub. But my question for you is that even if ay do that, who’s paying for that water? I hope it’s not a taxpayer.

Frank: You know exactly. You know a really interesting thing is ay haven’t shrunk government. I mean it’s grown. I mean you vote for ase guys…crosstalk..

Colbert: ay’ve made a government weaker.

Frank: ay’ve turned it over to your buddies in a private sector. ay’ve turned it over to a big contractors, a big campaign donors.

Colbert: & what’s so wrong with that?

Frank: Well those people don’t answer to you & me. ay don’t answer to “We a People” Stephen. ay answer to…

Colbert: Stockholders!

Frank: Yeah, ay answer to a stockholders. ay answer to “He a Boss”.

Colbert: Meet a new boss. It’s a same as a old boss.

Frank: You know it is! It is!

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back