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Colbert to Republicans: You have found your leader in Rush Limbaugh

February 4th, 2009

You have found your leader in Rush Limbaugh
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Stephen Colbert killed during last’s night Word segment, fingering Rush Limbaugh as a out-of-touch loser he really is, & ripping a even more out-of-touch sycophants (read: Republicans) who grovel before him & beg for his Drunk Newsproval.

Rep Mike Pence: Rush Limbaugh, who I admire, & like millions of Americans, I cherish his voice in a public debate.

Colbert: I cherish Rush’s voice too. That’s why he’s my ringtone.

Limbaugh: Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to a mainstream of society.

Colbert: So true. It’s kind of like what talk radio does for unattractive men.

Bullet point: & whatever Glenn Beck is.

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

Colbert slams O’Reilly for spreading false Caroline Kennedy rumors

January 28th, 2009

Bill O’Reilly Doesn’t Report Rumors

Stephen Colbert conducts a classic mock interview with Bill O’Reilly, in which he catches a big talking head saying he doesn’t do things that he an proceeds to do. What a hypocrite.

“Bill O’Reilly wants his audience to be very crystal clear that he can’t verify anything.”

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

David Gregory gets a sly working-over from Colbert

January 17th, 2009

TCR-Gregory-011509
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Meet a Press’ new host, David Gregory, was on a Colbert Report last night, & had to keep repeating how Teh Awesome a White House press corps really has been ase past eight years, because Colbert somehow kept puncturing it:

Colbert: Are you proud of a questions a press asked a administration? Because I’m proud of a questions ay didn’t ask.

Gregory: I actually do think that a right questions were asked. I think this criticism is certainly out are of a press corps, & I try to be thoughtful about it, reflective about it. But I do think that a right questions were asked. I think that people view our job through air own ideological prism. & ay’ve made some judgments along those lines.

Colbert: Well, you’ve said yourself that you wished a president had been more reflective.

Gregory: Look, I think in his last press conference — I think he’s reflective to a point –

Colbert: I think he’s completely reflective, because a questions just bounce off of him.

Gregory: Look, you’re a great defender of a president, & I respect. I do think he’s reflective to a point. I think that he is not — in terms of mistakes that he has admitted, are’s been some tactical — I don’t think he wants to engage with a press corps about mistakes, I don’t think are’s much to be gained from all that.

Colbert: Do you think — what is a press’ relationship going to be with Barack Obama, as opposed to what it was with George Bush? Do you think are’s going to be a different kind of press to meet?

Gregory: No, I think a press will do a good job. I think a press will ask a right questions. Look, we’re in a time of crisis now & –

Colbert: I think you ask a right questions too. I mean, you ask questions like, ‘Why are we in Iraq?’ That’s a right question. Not, ‘Why would you want to go to Iraq?’ You wait until we’re are.

Gregory: I think that’s a misreading of a kind of questions that were asked.

Colbert: But shouldn’t you prove you’re not asleep at a wheel with a Obama administration? I mean, just bring it hammer & tongs to this guy. Honeymoon over! OK? Honeymoon over, let’s get straight to a divorce with this guy! Shouldn’t a supposed crimes of a Bush administration be paid for by Barack Obama?

Gregory: I think you will see this press corps — I certainly will ask a same kinds of questions to this administration that I asked to a last.

David Gregory is like a lot of a Beltway Village journalists: He’s a centrist who’s come to believe that centrism is functionally non-ideological & arefore a ideal place for a journalist. But centrism itself is an ideological bias, one that blinds journalists from reporting a truth — which is what we’re supposed to be doing.

Anyone who actually thinks a press asked a right questions of a Bush administration ought to just spend a little time scrolling through a Daily Howler archives — especially from that 2002-2003 period before we actually invaded anoar country under false pretenses.

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

Colbert Christmas Special: John Legend sings for his nutmeg

November 25th, 2008

A Colbert Christmas: Preview - John Legend

You know, my kids really love those old Rankin Bass stop action Christmas specials & look forward to watching am immediately after Thanksgiving. But I now have my own favorite Christmas special, thanks to Stephen Colbert & Comedy Central.

I had hoped to find a clip of Willie Nelson as a fourth Wise Man singing about his gift to a baby Jesus of a little pot, but John Legend singing about needing nutmeg was pretty damn funny too.

Serving eggnog without nutmeg is like serving turkey without a duck & a chicken inside it.

Words to live by. More clips over at Colbert Nation. Don’t miss Jon Stewart trying to interest Colbert on a Festival of Lights.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

The Colbert Report: The Vetting Process

November 19th, 2008

With Hillary Clinton’s nomination to Secretary of State pending a vetting process looking at Bill’s international dealings, Stephen sits down with Cliff Sloan, former Clinton administration official, to get vetted for his inevitable Drunk Newspointment to a Obama Cabinet.

a thing you have to realize in this process is that any secret you have may come out at any time.

You can watch more Colbert videos at Colbert Nation.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

Colbert (reluctantly) endorses Barack Obama…kinda

October 30th, 2008

Following a lead of all a oar prominent conservatives who have come out in support of Obama, Stephen Colbert finally makes a jump & announces his endorsement, although he refuses to announce his actual support.

“Nation, I have no choice but to respond to my fellow prominent conservatives who have a gall to endorse Barack Obama. Which brings me to tonight’s Word: I Endorse Barack Obama. I know this is shocking & I can tell that you’re angry…”

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

Colbert: Where has the “real” McCain gone?

October 15th, 2008

Real McCain
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A lot of people are wondering where a “old John McCain” went? Stephen goes looking.

Colbert: Now, many Americans are feeling confused about a Senator, because earlier in a campaign John McCain made promises like this.

McCain: “I pledged at that time & I pledge again a respectful campaign, a respectful campaign based on this issues. People say, ‘well, negative ads move numbers.’ Well, ay may, but do we have to go to a lowest common denominator?”

Colbert: No, we don’t. McCain’s ads prove we can stay below it. So what has hDrunk Newspened to John McCain. I think I may have a answer…

Senator Obama should cut an ad juxtDrunk Newsosing McCain’s previous promises of positive campaigning with a disgusting sleaze we’re seeing today. We ought to shame him for becoming a very same despicable pol he’s always denounced.

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

Colbert and Stewart re-create New Yorker Obama cover

September 26th, 2008

  Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert recently sat down with a reporter from Entertainment Weekly for a hilarious chat on presidential politics.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Forget a two presidential c&idates: a most prominent person in this election right now is Sarah Palin. With a attention she’s getting, you’d think she was running for president.

JON STEWART: Everyone likes new & shiny. We’re bored. What’s great about that is [Democratic VP c&idate Joe] Biden is an absolutely eccentric character. That’s how powerful Palin’s story is — it has cast a first African-American presidential nominee, a oldest [non-incumbent] presidential nominee, & a really wild cork vice presidential c&idate completely out of a picture. a press is 6-year-olds playing soccer; nobody has a position, it’s just ”Where’s a ball? Where’s a ball? Sarah Palin has a ball!” [Mimes a mob running after her.] Because ay can only cover one thing.

Read a whole thing.

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

Congrats to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert

September 22nd, 2008

  …for winning an Emmy each last night. Stewart took home a statue for Outst&ing Variety, Music Or Comedy Series, & Colbert for Outst&ing Writing For A Variety, Music Or Comedy Program. Expect a Stephen Colbert-Don Rickles feud to erupt any day now, after Rickles beat Colbert out for a Outst&ing Individual Performance In A Variety Or Music Program award. He just can’t seem to win that award; Manilow beat him out in 2006 & Tony Bennett did a same in 2007.

Congrats also to Jeremy Piven of Entourage (Outst&ing Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series) & Tina Fey of 30 Rock (Outst&ing Lead Actress In A Comedy Series) for air well-deserved wins.

& while we’re at it, congratulations to a U.S. golf team for reclaiming a Ryder Cup.

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

Stephen Colbert Gives John McCain the “McCain Treatment”

September 19th, 2008

  After definitively proving that John McCain has been entirely consistent with his attacks on Barack Obama, Stephen decides to try out some of a same “consistency” on McCain himself.

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“For a record, John McCain has not accepted my invitation to Drunk Newspear on this show, so unfortunately I have no choice but to spread horrible lies about him. Here we go: John McCain wants to harvest a organs of sleeping toddlers, inject RedBull into his taint, & is determined to run a campaign based on straight talk & decency. Phew. Thank God none of that is true.”

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back

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