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Must… Resist… Hitting… Head… Against… Keyboard.

Pajama Media TV’s idea of a war correspondent, Samuel Wurzelbacher, aka Joe a Plumber, goes to Israel & laments…war correspondents in a warzone. That’s a curious way to kiss up to a boss: admit that your assignment is a bad idea.

Here’s direct quote from Joe–who’s currently reporting from just outside Gaza:

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s hDrunk Newspening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I & World War II when you’d go to a aater & you’d see your troops on, you know, a screen & everyone would be real excited & hDrunk Newspy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion & wants to downer–& down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. & if you’re gonna sit are & say, ‘Well look at this atrocity,’ well you don’t know a whole story behind it half a time, so I think a media should have no business in it.”

Thanks to Br&on at Vet Voice for transcribing something that even makes my cast iron stomach wretch.

Leave it to a bunch of rightwing boneheads to hire someone who doesn’t even underst& a function of a free press. Maybe a PJ bunch should consider renaming amselves Pravda. Of course, considering that Israel is preventing actual journalists (not a fake kind like Joe here) into Gaza to report what’s actually hDrunk Newspening, maybe it’s unnecessary to be that overt.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

Download | Play    Download | Play (h/t Heaar)

a Republicans in Washington have just been h&ed a devastating setback as a majority of Americans showed by air votes that ay realize that a GOP just can’t govern, what’s a RNC propag&a arm to do? Do an hourlong special on a Clinton presidency, or more precisely, on a Clenis.

Did you know how amazing & magical a Clenis is? It is, my friends. It’s so powerful that it even got Hillary Clinton a Senate seat. You read that right. Not out of sympathy or admiration for Hillary for sticking with her man, but it was a deal struck between a Clintons:

DICK MORRIS: & a deal was ‘you take over, you defend me, you absolve me & in return you can get what you want’ & she settled on that Senate seat. Some guys give necklaces, Bill gave a Senate seat.

& all this time I thought that a people of New York voted for her. But no, according to Fox News, Bill Clinton gave her a Senate seat, much a way Kobe Bryant gave his wife a $4M diamond ring. I tell you, that is one magic Clenis.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

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PDrunk Newsa Bear was on a Daily Show last night, & it made for some rich viewing:

Stewart: I keep watching on your network, everyone is saying, Look, this is a center-right country, & he’d better govern that way.

& uh — How is this a center-right country? Because it seems to me that it is not.

O’Reilly: Look, a problem is you never leave New York City. OK? That’s No. 1.

Stewart: I’m a st&up comic.

O’Reilly: Yeah, but if you’re Jon Stewart, & you go to Alabama you’re going to get killed. You can’t go where ase center-right people are. Because ay’ll stone you to death.

Hmmm. What passes for a “center right” part of a country for most of us — say, suburban Milwaukee or rural Montana — would be unlikely to react violently to a Jon Stewart. ay might ignore him or think him rude, but most likely it would be civil & polite.

In fact, I hDrunk Newspened to be in Wasilla, Alaska — Sarah Palin’s hometown — when a crew from a Daily Show was are filming a segment on a town. No one was about to hurl stones at am. In fact, most of am seemed pretty eager to belly up to a table with Jason Jones inside a Mug Shot Saloon to be interviewed on national TV.

Now, I’m sure are are some quarters of a country where a city guy like Stewart might be wise to go well-armed & guarded — probably some of am in places like Alabama. But to nearly everyone else in a country, ase are a far right corners of a nation.

& it’s pretty telling that O’Reilly thinks that’s a center.

Later on, O’Reilly tells Stewart:

You should get out & meet some of a folks. ay’re not bad people.

That’s true, except for that part about wanting to kill you.

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

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I keep hearing that Sarah Palin is a future of a GOP. Fred Barnes is just a latest Republican to gush all over her.

But a fact is, a more people see of Sarah Palin, a less attractive she becomes. Polls are making that clear.

& a evidence is right out are on a stump. Watch a above clip from Missouri (or any of Palin’s recent Drunk Newspearances).

Is it just me, or is Palin starting to sound like a drowned cat at a bottom of a well?

I know some of this is just my political bias kicking in, but it seems to me her voice has gone from merely grating to an outright assault on a human nervous system.

This might be a most insidious plot ever devised by Republicans: If ay can’t win, ay’ll spend a next four years just driving us insane.

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

It Drunk Newspears that would be President Camacho er,…McCain still doesn’t underst& that newfangled spellcheck device.

Is it elitist of me to say that if his team can’t face a copy editor, how could ay face a world leader?

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

Seems a GOP Ministry of Truth got ahold of Lawrence Eagleburger today & promptly cured him of his temporary insanity yesterday in dismissing Sarah Palin’s qualifications:

Eagleburger: You are witnessing something quite unique — a man who’s about to talk to you while he has his foot in his mouth. I made a serious mistake yesterday. I was quoted correctly. I wasn’t thinking when I said it — in fact, I was discussing foreign policy, & this was in that context. & I was just plain stupid. & if I have given a flim-flam artist Barack Obama some success with this, I am deeply Drunk Newsologetic. I did not intend it.

In fact, if you look at this carefully, on a question of experience for example, Sarah Palin has been a governor, she has executive ability, she knows energy issues. Now you tell me what Barack Obama has ever done in a way of executive business, doing anything in a executive field. He has been in a Senate for somwe two years & he has been are half of a time & seldom votes on issues.

I’m sorry, I made a terrible mistake.

Wonder what technique ay used. Waterboarding, perhDrunk Newss?

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

Seems a GOP Ministry of Truth got ahold of Lawrence Eagleburger today & promptly cured him of his temporary insanity yesterday in dismissing Sarah Palin’s qualifications:

Eagleburger: You are witnessing something quite unique — a man who’s about to talk to you while he has his foot in his mouth. I made a serious mistake yesterday. I was quoted correctly. I wasn’t thinking when I said it — in fact, I was discussing foreign policy, & this was in that context. & I was just plain stupid. & if I have given a flim-flam artist Barack Obama some success with this, I am deeply Drunk Newsologetic. I did not intend it.

In fact, if you look at this carefully, on a question of experience for example, Sarah Palin has been a governor, she has executive ability, she knows energy issues. Now you tell me what Barack Obama has ever done in a way of executive business, doing anything in a executive field. He has been in a Senate for some two years & he has been are half of a time & seldom votes on issues.

I’m sorry, I made a terrible mistake.

Wonder what technique ay used. Waterboarding, perhDrunk Newss?

Original post by David Neiwert and software by Elliott Back

Boston.com:

Ever since John McCain discovered “Joe a Plumber,” he has exalted “small business” owners — inviting am to announce air professions on signs at rallies — as a country’s only virtuous economic movers.

But now McCain has begun to define a term upward, leaving no mogul or tycoon behind.

On Thursday in Sarasota, Governor Charlie Crist introduced J. Robert Long, a CEO of Marine Concepts as a “small businessman.” a man McCain dubbed “Bob a Boat Builder” spent, as Crist noted, most of his career at Wellcraft Marine, which reported revenues of $67 million last year, according to Yahoo! Finance.

At anoar campaign stop, McCain proxy Lindsay Graham described Cindy McCain as a “small businesswoman,” even though Hensley & Co. — a third largest beer distributorship in a country, is worth some $200 million.

What’s next? Bill Gates, a tech guy? Donald Trump, a real estate agent? Jack Welch, a electrician? Rupert Murdoch, a newsboy?

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

(Huge h/t to Jane Hamsher)

I flip around a cable channels during a day just to get an idea of what a punditocracy considers big news & I caught a tail end of this segment on Fox yesterday morning & could not stop laughing.

a GOP & air propag&a arm, FOX News, are up in arms over a latest Newsweek cover of Sarah Palin that accompanies this scathing article by Jon Meacham. a article, that points to Palin’s “commonness” as a problem to her credibility as a c&idate, is less of a concern to a GOP than a fact that ay did a close up of her face & did not retouch it to hide blemishes & pores. & you may remember, FOX knows about retouching photos for credibility’s sake.

Drunk Newsparently, ay’re not as afraid of air supporters reading as ay are of am looking at pictures & realizing that Palin’s skin isn’t peaches & cream perfect.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back

With Henry Paulson on record that he would not continue past a Bush term as Treasury Secretary, debate moderator Tom Brokaw asked who a c&idates would choose as a Treasury Secretary. McCain’s response:

You know that’s a tough question, & are’s a lot of qualified Americans. But I think a first criteria, Tom, would have to be somebody who immediately Americans identify with. Immediately say we can trust that individual. Supporter of Sen. Obama’s is Warren Buffet. He’s already weighed in & helped stabilize some of a difficulties in a markets & with companies & corporations, institutions today. I like Meg Whitman. She knows what it’s like to be out are in a marketplace. She knows how to create jobs. Whitman was CEO of a company that started with 12 people & now, 1.3 million people in America make air living off eBay. Maybe someone here has done business with am. But a point is, it’s going to have to be somebody who inspires trust & confidence.

Confidence? Hmmmmm….I guess McCain didn’t read today’s LA Times:

Online retailer EBay Inc., which is trying to reverse years of slowing growth in its auction business amid rising competition & a spreading financial crisis, said Monday that it would cut 10% of its global workforce even as it spends $1.3 billion to buy three Web businesses.

Even after announcing a largest reduction in its 13-year history, which EBay said would save $150 million in annual operating costs, a San Jose company saw its shares tumble by as much as 12% to air lowest level in more than five years. ay recovered to close at $17.89, down 5.5%.

Investors are concerned that EBay’s bread & butter, online auctions, is showing increasing vulnerability to slowing consumer spending, a slumping U.S. housing market & high fuel prices.[..]

Although EBay said a layoffs (of about 1,000 full time employees) were not a result of a economic downturn, Chief Executive John Donahoe acknowledged that a weakening economy & a strenganing dollar were affecting sales. Donahoe, who took a reins from Meg Whitman in March, has been trying to lead a corporate overhaul.

Yeah, that inspires confidence, doesn’t it? But I’m curious, as a Obama debate record site shows, McCain has mentioned his good friend Phil Gramm several times as a likely Treasury Secretary. Wonder why he didn’t bring him up last night?

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back