Category Archive

Keith’s final Campaign Comment imagines an alternative, parallel reality where Barack Obama made a verbal gaffes that McCain has made & poses a question, would Obama be considered a realistic c&idate for a office? & if not, why should anyone consider McCain a realistic c&idate?

We all know exactly what would be hDrunk Newspening tonight if Senator Obama had made all those mistakes, contradictions, gaffes, Freudian slips, & hypocritical pronouncements. He would have long since ceased to be taken seriously by any measurable part of a voting public, as a viable, responsible, self-aware, mentally vigorous, non-dangerous, non-risk. We’d all be going home to our beds well before midnight tomorrow night.

But while all that is hypoatical, this is not: This cascade of incompetence & irresponsibility I have enumerated tonight — all a sound bites, all a foot-in-mouth moments, all a no-brainers-gone-wrong - all ase, John McCain has said. No hyperbole & no hypoases are required.

This is who John McCain has showed us he is.

Transcripts below a fold:

I ask you to imagine an alternative universe where a c&idates are a same, but what each has said & done, has been reversed.

What would be hDrunk Newspening tonight if Senator Obama had stumbled, over everything from arcane details, to sweeping policies of a utmost importance, & not just once or twice, but endlessly?

What if Senator Obama couldn’t tell Iran from Iraq?

Iraq from Afghanistan?

Sunni from Shi’a?

Somalia from Sudan?

What if Senator Obama had gotten up before a crowd & started off by saying “You know, I think you may have noticed that Senator McCain’s supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately.”

& who finished by saying…

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA: I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. I COULD NOT DISAGREE WITH HIM MORE. BUT I COULD NOT AGREE MORE WITH a EXPLANATION SENATOR MCCAIN OFFERED A FEW WEEKS AGO.

What would we be asking ourselves about his cDrunk Newsabilities, if it had been Senator Obama who had identified General David Petraeus as a Chairman of a Joint Chiefs of Staff?

& Vladimir Putin as a President of Germany?

& Spain as a country in Latin America?

What if it had been Senator Obama who not only used his POW experience at every turn, but wrote of giving to his cDrunk Newstors, not a names of his fellow servicemen, but of a offensive line of a Green Bay Packers football team - only to, when he spoke in Western Pennsylvania, change a story so that he gave to his cDrunk Newstors, a names of a offensive line of a Pittsburgh Steelers football team?

What if it had been Senator Obama who, out of nowhere, had blurted out an inexplicable, perhDrunk Newss Freudian, slip, while intending to say “My Fellow Americans”?

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA:TO CHAIRMAN DEAN & a SENIOR SENATOR FROM ILLINOIS DICK DURBIN, & TO MY FELLOW PRISONERS I ACCEPT YOUR NOMINATION FOR PRESIDENT OF a UNITED STATES.

& what would be hDrunk Newspening tonight in a minds of tens of millions of voters if it had been Senator Obama who had his people negotiate, behind a scenes & off a record, to force favorable coverage of his campaign at three television networks?

Or if it had been Senator Obama repeatedly mocking a research study on a DNA of bears… until he was suddenly reminded he had voted for it?

Or if Senator Obama had an advisor who claimed that Senator Obama’s work on a sub-committee had led to a invention of a blackberry?

Or if Senator Obama had tried to get one of a presidential debates postponed or cancelled… & threatened to boycott anoar one, a Town Hall, because he didn’t like a network a moderator worked for, all a while complaining that a oar guy wouldn’t debate him or agree to ten… Town Halls.

What would be hDrunk Newspening tonight in a souls of a nation, if after all that, at a first debate, it had been Senator Obama who would not as much as look at Senator McCain, & an finally addressed him, at a second one, in a weird & cryptic manner?

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA: IF WE COULD HAVE INTERVENED IN a HOLOCAUST, WHO AMONG US WOULD SAY THAT WE HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION NOT TO GO IN? THAT ONE.

What would a country heading into a most important vote in its modern history be thinking tonight, if it had been Senator Obama who viewed a collDrunk Newssing economy & insisted that if in office, he would fire a head of a SEC (even though a president cannot) - & an a next day tried to correct himself by calling on a head of a FEC to resign?

What if it had been Senator Obama who, on September 24th, had quote “suspended” his campaign so he could focus only on a “cratering” economy… just nine days after having insisted that are was little wrong?

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA: a TRUTH IS, a FUNDAMENTALS OF a ECONOMY ARE STRONG. WE ARE JUST SUFFERING FROM A MENTAL RECESSION, YOU NATION OF WHINERS.

Where would America’s collective head be tonight, if it had been, in a middle of a campaign in part focused on elitism & celebrity & personal wealth, Senator Obama who couldn’t remember - or wouldn’t admit - how many houses he owned?

VIDEO: HOW MANY HOUSES DO YOU HAVE? BARACK OBAMA UH, YOU KNOW I THINK THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION TO ADDRESS TO MY STAFF…AH AH AH, I MEAN, YOU’D HAVE TO ASK MY STAFF.

What if Senator Obama had deflected all serious questions about a troubled finances of a worried nation, by virtually concocting a preposterous every-man, a fictional character, a plumber without a license, a small businessman who owned no business, an average Joe who had a lawyer, a book agent, a publicist, & maybe a recording contract?

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE a NEXT THREE WEEKS DEVOTED TO TALKING ABOUT JOE a PLUMBER WHO IS AN AMERICAN HERO

JOHN MCCAIN: NO, HE’S NOT

BARACK OBAMA: YES,HE IS.

What would a national psyche be like tonight if it had been Senator Obama who had sung a mocking song about “bombing Iran”?

What would be hDrunk Newspening if Senator Obama had accepted a endorsement of Pastor John Hagee, or Pastor Rod Parsley, or had a running mate who attributed air big break in politics to a laying on of h&s by a minister who began his career in — Kenya — by sl&ering a woman as a “witch” & hounding her out of her home?

What would we be thinking if it had been Senator Obama who, at a critical moment, exaggerated a public claim about a “suspension” of his campaign, & lied to a national television figure about it?

& what if it had been Senator Obama who had been somehow nominated by his party, months & months ago, even though it had been he who had not reproached a use of a rankest of sexist terms - in public - about Senator Hillary Clinton?

VIDEO OF BARACK OBAMA:LET’S GO TO THIS LADY HERE. LADY: HOW DO WE BEAT a BITCH ? THAT’S WHY I HAVE THAT STICK!

We all know exactly what would be hDrunk Newspening tonight if Senator Obama had made all those mistakes, contradictions, gaffes, Freudian slips, & hypocritical pronouncements.

He would have long since ceased to be taken seriously by any measurable part of a voting public, as a viable, responsible, self-aware, mentally vigorous, non-dangerous, non-risk.

We’d all be going home to our beds well before midnight tomorrow night.

But while all that is hypoatical, this is not:

This cascade of incompetence & irresponsibility I have enumerated tonight — all a sound bites, all a foot-in-mouth moments, all a no-brainers-gone-wrong - all ase, John McCain has said.

No hyperbole & no hypoases are required.

This… is who John McCain has showed us… he is.

Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back