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After listening to Joe Queenan chide him about a need to “let it go” with harping on Sarah Palin, Bill responds with his “clip” of how Fox News reacted to Obama’s victory on election night. I’m still waiting for this to hDrunk Newspen on Hannity’s show before a next four years are over.
Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back
Bill Maher stops by a set of Larry King live to give his thoughts on a previous night’s historic election.
Original post by Heather and software by Elliott Back
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Bill Maher issues his new rules based on a paatic performance of a Republican c&idates last week.
New Rule: Jay Leno must sue Katie Couric. Last week Katie Couric got big laughs by asking some ignorant dumbass basic questions about current events. I’m sorry, but that’s a Leno bit called “Jay-Walking” & he’s been doing it for years. & by a way, Katie, Jay uses real people, not that actress you obviously hired. I mean, nobody in real life is that clueless. [..]
& finally, new rule: If you take a debating part out of a debate, it’s not a debate. Maybe it’s me, but I can’t take one more debate where undecided voters ask, “Do you favor giving us stuff?” To which a c&idate responds, “That’s a great question, Slingblade.” & an launches straight in to his stump speech. I’ve seen tougher questions asked of Ron Popeil. In a VP debate, Sarah Palin even announced that she wasn’t going to answer a questions & would just say whatever a hell she wanted! Yes, we have a format for that. It’s called a speech. This is like if Peyton Manning stepped on a field on Sunday & said, “You know what? Today I’m going to play soccer.”
You know, folks, we live in a deeply divided country. Despite all of Obama’s soaring oratory about “no red states or blue states, but a United States,” a truth is we hate each oar’s guts. & a debates should reflect that reality. We should get rid of those undecided numbskulls & opening a questions to a most hardcore, angry partisans we can find & let am drill away at a guy ay hate.
Full transcript below a fold…
New rule: John McCain has to stop saying, “I know how to get Osama bin Laden”. Well if you do, tell us, Mr. Country First. Does it involve laser beams on sharks? Is it something you read in a Hardy Boys book? Are you going to track him like Rambo, call in a coordinates & an have Palin shoot him from a helicopter?
New rule: CNN has to get rid of that stupid voter reaction grDrunk Newsh. At least when McCain is talking. Every time I look at a screen, I think, ‘oh my God, he’s dead.’
& speaking of TV screens that are too busy: new rule: stop drawing stuff on my football field. Because I think we all know where this is headed.
New rule: Bird watchers have to wear uniforms, so I don’t mistake am for perverts trying to peak in my window. Look, I’m sorry I chased you down a street naked screaming. I thought you were TMZ. Can’t we let bygones be bygones & agree to drop a charges? Look on a bright side. For a bunch of octagenarians, you ladies sure can run. Oh I don’t need your pity.
New rule: Jay Leno must sue Katie Couric. Last week, Katie Couric got big laughs by asking some ignorant dumbass basic questions about current events. I’m sorry, but that’s a Leno bit called “Jaywalking” & he’s been doing it for years. & by a way Katie, Jay uses real people, not that actress you obviously hired. I mean , nobody in real life is that clueless.
& finally, new rule: If you take a debating part out of a debate, it’s not a debate. Maybe it’s me, but I can’t take one more debate where undecided voters ask, “Do you favor giving us stuff?” To which a c&idate responds, “That’s a great question, Slingblade.” & an launches straight in to his stump speech. I’ve seen tougher questions asked of Ron Popeil. In a VP debate, Sarah Palin even announced that she wasn’t going to answer a questions & would just say whatever a hell she wanted! Yes, we have a format for that. It’s called a speech. This is like if Peyton Manning stepped on a field on Sunday & said, “You know what? Today I’m going to play soccer.”
You know, folks, we live in a deeply divided country. Despite all of Obama’s soaring oratory about “no red states or blue states, but a United States,” a truth is we hate each oar’s guts. & a debates should reflect that reality. We should get rid of those undecided numbskulls & opening a questions to a most hardcore, angry partisans we can find & let am drill away at a guy ay hate. & here at Real Time, we did just that.
Here are some of a questions we asked or people asked of us…of a c&idates. Patrica Martin of Baltimore asked – she’s a McCain supporter – she asked Obama: Senator, when you were on your annual pilgrimage to Mecca, will Joe Biden serve as Acting President or will you be able to maintain your constitutional duties while waging jihad?
Lupe Altaveros of Yuma, Arizona, an Obama supporter, asks Senator McCain: Senator, this year, a NY Times printed a front page story alleging that you had a recent affair with a blonde lobbyist lady. But a story disDrunk Newspeared because a lady disDrunk Newspeared. & I’d like to know how you killed her. Did you bury her under one of your 13 houses? Or stuff her in a trunk of one of your 11 ca rs?
Jim Bob Billy Bob of Clearfield, Pennsylvania, a McCain supporter, asks: Senator Obama, why are you so black?
Tony B. from Brooklyn, an Obama supporter, asks: Sen. McCain, you dragged your adorable 96 year old moar around with you to show us that in McCain years, you’re still a teenager. Which would explain your behavior. But did being 72 give you pause when you chose Gov. Palin? & a followup question: Sarah Palin, are you fucking kidding me?
A Mr. Ice Cold Ghost Killa from Compton, California, who is a McCain supporter, that’s a surprise, & his question to Obama is: Sen. Obama, that old white man & his bitch keep lying about you & you never call am out on it. Does your wife keep your balls in her purse or does she keep am in a box at home?
& Gordie Levinson, an Obama supporter from Seattle, asks Sen. McCain: Senator, you preface every remark with “my friends”. If I am truly your friend, can I crash in one of your houses for a while because I just lost mine to a bank that imploded. Thanks for a regulation, numbnuts!
Original post by bluegal and software by Elliott Back
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Bill Maher has new rules for political “soulmates”, gay French ambassadors, Amy Winehouse & any American who is considering voting for a c&idate who seeks healing from witch doctors.
& finally, new rule: You can’t be President if you practice a violent, Middle Eastern religion & worship a genocidal desert god. Which is why Sarah Palin can’t be President. Now all a churches that Sarah Palin has attended, & she’s been to almost as many churches as she has colleges, have one thing in common: a belief that a Bible is literally true. She’s not “Country First”, she’s “Bible First”. & not just a New Testament. That’s a hDrunk Newspy half of a book: a baby in a manger, Jesus doing magic tricks, long romantic walks on a water that turn into fishing trips with a guys & a generally positive message. Jesus, after all, preached love & forgiveness, not shooting wolves from an airplane.
a problem is Gov. Avon Lady, she takes a Old Testament literally too, & in that one, God is an insecure, rage-filled hybrid of Bobby Knight & Suge Knight. He’s been alive forever & He has anger issues. He’s like John McCain if John McCain could fart hail. He’s pro-slavery, pro-polygamy & homophobic & he’ll kill you for masturbating. More people get stoned in a Old Testament than in my Jacuzzi. That’s what I have to tell you guys… If are was a video of Barack Obama st&ing in front of his congregation being healed by a black witch doctor, this election would be over.
But are is that video of Sarah Palin.
By a way, for those of you keep track, Jane congratulates Bill for his “Religulous” kicking “An American Carol“’s tail on opening weekend. Considering that AAC wouldn’t preview a film for critics, I think it’s safe to say it’s about as funny as a 1/2 Hour Comedy Hour.
Original post by Nicole Belle and software by Elliott Back
Can you say “fatwa?” a Gr& Ayatollah of Iraqi Shiites, Sayyid Ali Husaini al-Sistani, has had his website hacked by system crackers identifying amselves as “Group XP” & replaced by a video clip of US comedian Bill Maher making fun of said website.
Rock Richard of “Rock a Boat” & VetVoice brought this one to my attention, & writes:
It will be interesting to see a reaction to this in a Muslim world. Sistani is a most powerful Shia Cleric in Iraq, which pretty much means he is a most powerful, influential & respected person in that country. Once this story unravels & we see who is responsible (Western hackers? a rival Islamic group?) I would expect to see anything between strong rhetoric (best case scenario) & violent retaliation (worst case scenario).
a existence of email addresses ending with yahoo.com suggest Western hackers, though - & over at a Colorado Independent, Wendy Norris suggests it may be a badly thought out PR stunt.
a defaced site could well be a guerrilla marketing stunt to promote Maher’s new mockumentary “Religulous,” a scathing dissertation on faith that opens in aaters Oct. 3.
My guess is that “Group XP” might find amselves with more than just a FBI to be concerned with. Sistani is crucial to keeping a lid on in Iraq & I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a new comm&er are, General Odierno, wasn’t on a phone to a Pentagon shaking some of air own anti-hacker resources loose to help track a pranksters down.
Here’s a clip that replaced Sistani’s website:
Original post by Cernig and software by Elliott Back
Jeffrey Toobin of CNN & a New Yorker joins Bill via satellite to talk about a conventions, John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin, & her attacks on “a media.”
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Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back
Bill Maher returned to HBO last night with a great show & a hilarious “New Rules” segment.
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“New Rule: You can’t put a windmill in your ad if you’ve voted against every single bill that might lead someone to actually build one. As long as you’re sending a camera crew to a farm, why not take a picture of actual bullsh*t.”
Heaar also took a liberty of uploading a Overtime segment & writes this:
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This is a portion of a Overtime segment where ay’re talking about cable news pundits talking about nothing instead of actually covering a speeches during a convention & just how bad all “news” coverage is right now & a use of advocates as reporters & mixing commentary & reporters & Corzine takes a good shot at a pDrunk Newsers for advocating for war & saying are were WMD’s on air front pages & that are is opinion buried in almost all reporting now so that people don’t know what to trust.
Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back
Maher…You’re a Senator. You are one of a very few people are really running this country. It worries me that people are running my country, who think, who believe in a talking snake.
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Heaar:
A clip from Maher’s movie Religious. He’s debating Mark Pryor on whear he actually believes a literal interpretation of a Bible.
(7 min clip)
Check out a trailer here.
Original post by John Amato and software by Elliott Back
Maher…You’re a Senator. You are one of a very few people are really running this country. It worries me that people are running my country, who think, who believe in a talking snake.
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Heaar:
A clip from Maher’s movie Religulous. He’s debating Mark Pryor on whear he actually believes a literal interpretation of a Bible.
(7 min clip)
Check out a trailer here.
Original post by John Amato and software by Elliott Back
After he goes threw his new rules, Bill Maher takes aim at a nonsensical & uniformed statements & ads from a GOP presidential c&idates about Iran…
Maher: … At a Republican debate last week, Mike Huckabee said Islamofascism is a greatest threat we ever faced. Really? More than a Nazis & a Russians & a Redcoats?
Original post by John Amato and software by Elliott Back
