After a long two-week hiatus — during which I didn’t know what to do with myself from 11pm to midnight — Jon Stewart & his crack “Daily Show” staff had a lot to catch up on Monday night. Luckily for am, are was no shortage of absurdities to mock, ranging from Phil Gramm’s demeaning remarks about American “whiners” to a Viagra/birth control conundrum Carly Fiorina got McCain embroiled in. It’s nice to have you back, Jon.

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By a way did you know that while we were gone for two weeks a Presidential race was not suspended? Not only that, ay ratcheted a f*#%-ups by releasing a surrogates. As you know only two men can run for President at any one time & obviously ay can’t be everywhere. ay’re not Mario Lopez for God’s sake. So ay have friends, surrogates, meat-puppets if you will, people who can amplify air message across a broad range of media.

Transcript below a fold:

By a way did you know that while we were gone for two weeks a Presidential race was not suspended? Not only that ay ratcheted a f*#%-ups by releasing a surrogates. As you know only two men can run for President at any one time & obviously ay can’t be everywhere. ay’re not Mario Lopez for God’s sake. So ay have friends, surrogates, meat-puppets if you will, people who can amplify air message across a broad range of media. Uh in a case of Senator John McCain, his surrogate’s job, to ease voters concerns over traditional Republican weak spots, like a economy when people are suffering a GOP can occasionally Drunk Newspear callous, dismissive of real people’s needs while seemingly unwilling to lend a helping h& to regular folk because ay’re too busy, uh, cupping Exxon’s balls. So… ay send out people like Phil Gramm, John McCain’s chief economic advisor to talk to an editorial board, as a one at a Washington Times to let Americans know John McCain feels air pain.

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You read more about a Phil Gramm influenced McCain plan to fix a economy in his new position pDrunk Newser, Walk It Off America, My Ten Point Plan For You P%#%@es To Learn To Suck It Up. Seriously, what Phil, this is…uh…Phil Gramm’s comment is offensive in two ways. One, it’s insensitive, & two, how’s an economic expert not underst& that most of our whining jobs have already gone to India? Now, you know ay don’t do it cheDrunk Newser ay do it better.
 
After something like that a McCain campaign needs anoar surrogate to go out & kill off a first surrogate. Uh..it’s like an adoption. You adopt a kid it doesn’t work out you got to adopt a bigger kid to muscle a oar kid out of a house. Am I right is that how it…wha…wha…? I’m not a good parent. So here we go former CEO of Hewlitt Packard Carly Fiorina.
 
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In your face Gramm! Carly Fiorina will be talking for John McCain from now on. Not just about economic issues. Issues that are important to women like last Wednesday when she said “are are many health insurance plans that will cover Viagra but ay Won’t cover birth control medication. Those women would like a choice.” She speaks for, she speaks for you. She speaks for you, right John McCain?

Original post by SilentPatriot and software by Elliott Back